Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?

(1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

Don't tempt me, I need beer money.

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(727): View more from Florida

You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.

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(847): View more from Illinois

i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless

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(513): View more from Ohio

im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect

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(360): View more from Washington

just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.

(732): View more from New Jersey

Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.

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(417): View more from Missouri

I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Guess whose grandma smokes weed?

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