I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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