I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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