The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
