i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
