we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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