haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize