Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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