We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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