ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
