Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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