oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
