I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize