how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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