I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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