Someone shit on the floor
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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