youre lurking in front of me
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
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