I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
