Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
