You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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