she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
