That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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