i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I did not marry a roomba.
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