you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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