tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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