So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
