yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
