We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
