If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
