No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
