He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The struggles of a small town man whore
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize