Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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