first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
