sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
