omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
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