On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Randomize
