i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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