I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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