I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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