So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
