Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
soo... how was my night?
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