the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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