what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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