I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
