I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
