I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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