what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he thought i was a dude.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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