that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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