is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
