im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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