i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Randomize
