I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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