I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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