Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
