I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
