i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
