I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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