Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
