Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
