I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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