did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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