You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
