We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
