You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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