I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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