Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the day after is always just damage control
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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